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The Word 9
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The Word 9 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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11-PDLife.txt
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11-PDLife.txt
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Text File
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1996-01-17
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6KB
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160 lines
|2-A day in the life of
|2-a PD (Nut)House
Whilst not pretending all PD houses are run like ours, we think this is
a typical day out of our diary. We are both currently undergoing
medication involving a full psychiatric evaluation report and so we'll
be back to normal soon.
8.30am
------
Kev leaves the nice, warm arms of his beloved Fiona and jumps/staggers
into the Golf. After numerous attempts to start it, it reluctantly
fires and a cloud of black, greasy smoke billows from the exhaust and
engulfs the upper reaches of Bethesda. Eco-warriors leap from their
places of concealment and attempt to prevent him from driving away. Kev
slams the car into reverse, hurtles up the hill and handbrakes it around
the corner.
8.32am
------
After waving to the eco-warriors Kev trundles off eagerly to Rich's
house. Situated in Llanfairpwll this is where the MôN PD empire resides
whilst grandiose plans of expansion, diversification, industrial units
and double page adverts happily fill his (very) little head.
8.40am
------
The postie arrives with the days work. Nervously he pushes the jiffys
and letters through the slot knowing full well that Deano, the genetic
mutation of a dog, a horse and a food processing plant is cunningly
waiting in the porch to rip off his right forearm.
400 milli-seconds later, the postie is already leaping the fence to next
door with a smug grin on his face, leaving Deano with a mouth full of
envelopes and letterbox. Oh well, there's always next time...
8.41am
------
All the mail is opened. Bills are given to Deano, jiffys from Freak,
ßudda and Pex are locked in our ultra-high security safe till later!!!
(Anybody who's had a jiffy off these guys will know what we mean!)
Customers orders begin to be sorted out and...
8.45am
------
The MôN PD machine gets off the starting blocks for another day in the
Public Domain. (after a mug of tea, of course). Disks, labels and
jiffys hurtle around the room at the speed of sound closely followed by
curses, insults and threats.
9.10am
------
Amid the mayhem Amiga magazine ad dept. rings up, nice voice at the
other end enthusiasticly explains the benefits for MôN PD that a half
page ad in their mag for £800 would be. We explain we can't afford it
because we are already carrying four ads. "Ok" she says "1/4 page for
£300, think of the business you'll make AND a months credit?" WOW! we
decline the generous offer and after 20 minutes of saying no in a
variety of ways ranging from polite to downright abusive she gives up.
9.35am
------
Back to work with a sore ear.
12.30pm
-------
Dinner time at MôN PD, as yet we don't have our own staff canteen but
Rich's kitchen will suffice. First it's off to the local supermarket
for the weekly provisions, we proceed to argue for half an hour as to
who should drive as the driver has to concentrate on the road rather
than the college talent en-route. Kev get's the job of chauffeur. On
the way we post the mornings job lot, as we walk through the door of the
Post Office Jim, the Postmaster, shouts Iesu Mawr! (Jesus Christ in
Welsh) at the carrier bag full of jiffys that's shortly to test his
archaic weighing machine again. After converting the shillings scale to
pence we ask how much it would cost to Airmail a catalogue to Katmandu.
Hang on boys, I'll look in the book, then off we go...
1.30pm
------
Neighbours is put on whilst we eat lunch, surely this Australian
masterpiece is overdue for an oscar!
2.10pm
------
Curtains drawn, Rich's sister has gone out so the safe is opened and the
new warez from NFA and Pex are looked at. We draw straws as to who
reviews the utils and who does the babe slideshows. As usual Kev gets
the slideshows. (I'm sure he cheats. I've never actually seen the
straw. RICH)
New CD we ordered also arrived today, ad looked mouth watering, as usual
it's turned out to be another expensive beer mat!
Amiga mag rings back desperately saying there's only 1/8 page left but
MôN PD can have it for 50 pounds (excl.VAT), we still decline.
4.00pm
------
Rich asks why Pex's "Sweet Dreams" is taking nearly two hours and
several trips to the toilet to review?
4.30pm
------
Amiga mag rings back, begging us to have that last 1/8 of a page for
£5.00. After much oohing and aahing we decline again much to the
annoyance of the telesales person who's probably lookin' through the
jobs section in the local rag as we speak.
5.30pm
------
The MôN PD machine grinds to a halt, the Goliath power supply is
switched off thus enabling us to take our ear defenders off to clear up
the backing paper from the labels that are strewn all over the floor.
5.45pm
------
Kev jumps in the Panzer and heads towards the Post Office. It's shut.
But he can get stamps from the machine outside. Aaaarrrgh! It's empty.
Panic!! Kev leaps into the MôN mobile and heads off to the next machine
five miles away.
9.35pm
------
Somebody phones Rich in the middle of the X-Files asking for a
catalogue!!!
|1-Rich & Kev/MoN PD
End